---
title: You cannot not lead
teaser: Whether you’re aware of it or not, your actions and non-actions impact the
  people around you. Everything sends a message. Everything communicates. Everything
  is leading.
tags: people management,leadership
author: Svenja Schäfer
published_on: 2025-11-27
---

Ever had a manager miss a retrospective? A Director say one sentence in a one-hour meeting? A Team Lead type on their keyboard while the group discusses upcoming holiday coverage?

Or a manager who checked in with you to see how you were feeling? A Director asking follow-up questions to ensure they understood your concern correctly? A Team Lead giving a shoutout for your latest published blog post?

I believe your answer is yes. You've had one of these people as your manager. So what do they all have in common? They led, they managed – whether they were trying or not. Because you cannot not lead. You cannot **not** manage.

## It's not about being good or mediocre

When I say they all led, I'm not saying whether they led well or not. It's not about the leadership style. It's about the fact that whatever someone in a leadership role does, they are leading. Being absent from a meeting is leading. Maybe it was positive that the manager missed the retrospective – maybe it was on purpose. I don't know, and I don't care. They led by being absent.

The Team Lead who gave the shoutout? They led too. Sure, it seems more positive because they recognised your work - but maybe you felt uncomfortable receiving public praise. I don't know, and I don't care. They led by giving the shoutout.

## One cannot not communicate

If you've heard of [Paul Watzlawick](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Watzlawick) and his five communication axioms, my statement "You cannot not lead" might sound familiar. Watzlawick, a therapist, psychologist and communication theorist, famously stated in his first axiom: "One cannot not communicate". Meaning that literally every behaviour, be it as small as a wink or an eye roll, is a form of communication. You simply cannot not communicate. And once you see leadership and management through this lens – as something unavoidable – it becomes impossible to ignore the impact you as a leader have on others.

There's no person on earth who cannot not communicate. Same as there's no one in a leadership role who can escape the fact that they are leading – always. If you, as a manager, are missing a meeting, make sure your absence aligns with how you want to be perceived as a leader. If it's because you are in another meeting – say so and excuse yourself. Be intentional. If you want to give someone a shoutout? Ask them how they like to receive praise! Be intentional. Lead intentionally.

## Why should you care?

Being a manager is not _only_ about getting a title or a higher salary – it also comes with more responsibility. That responsibility doesn't start and end with your 1:1s. It starts when you begin your day and ends when you finish it. Whatever you say, however you react, whatever opinion you voice in a public environment – you are leading. Be aware of that. Because there's no such thing as not leading: you cannot not lead.

So start leading on purpose!