---
title: Are You For Real?
teaser: Identify and manage your Imposter Syndrome.
tags: happiness,productivity
author: Melissa Xie
published_on: 2017-03-16
---

Those who have [Imposter Syndrome] are said to be "high-achieving individuals
marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent
fear of being exposed as a 'fraud'."

As a someone who does consulting work as her job, I can't tell you how often
I've felt like "it's only a matter of time" until someone figures me out. My
anxieties are skyrocketing just writing this blog post. Who am I to be talking
about Imposter Syndrome? Do I even know what it is? Am I even qualified?

When I'm working with my clients though, the fear comes from scenarios like:

* A bug occurs (on production for dramatic effect) and I just can't explain
  it.
* As I'm working on a project, I suddenly remember that tons of people
  are (or will be) using it and then I feel like I'm not good enough to be the
  one building this.
* Or this:

    > Me: So how did you envision handling X?
    <br/>
    > Client: I don't know. What do you think?
    <br/>
    > Me (in my head): Oh shit. I'm going to get fired.

The theme here is basically: "What if I can't answer all of their questions?
What if I don't know enough to solve these problems?"

And the answer is almost always: "It's ok."

My clients are looking _to me_ to help them solve the problem at task. I'm
supposed to be "the expert" here. As humans, it is [part of our nature] to
emphasize the negative over the positive so when I find myself in such a
scenario, I tend to freeze up and forget everything that I know. In these
situations, I consider three possibilities:

* If I claim that I know how to tackle the problem when I actually don't,
  then yes, I _am_ being a fraud and maybe I should be afraid.
* If I look back on my prior experiences up until now and remember that I've
  solved similar problems before, then yes, I am experiencing Imposter Syndrome
  and should try to leverage that knowledge.
* If I really don't know how to approach the problem though, then I should be
  honest about it, share what I do know, and offer to discuss the problem as a
  team. This becomes a learning experience for everyone.

[Imposter Syndrome]: https://medium.com/@yegg/mental-models-i-find-repeatedly-useful-936f1cc405d#.ct3aiqcuc
[part of our nature]: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201406/are-we-hardwired-be-positive-or-negative

## Easing future occurrences

For times when I _do_ feel good about the work I'm doing, I make sure
that I take some steps to help Future Me remember this feeling again:

* Ask my peers for feedback and keep a list of any positive comments. These
  positive comments should include why and how though so that I remember what it
  was that I did right.
* Become a mentor to someone or a TA at a workshop like [RailsBridge] so that I
  can exercise my knowledge about a certain area. It's a great way to teach back
  what I've learned.
* [Share] with others what I've learned recently because you never know when
  someone else might not have known about the same thing!

Taking these actions on a regular basis allows me to have concrete examples that
I can later use to accurately assess my ability to do something. Hopefully
you'll be able to give yourself the credit you deserve too!

[railsbridge]: http://railsbridge.org/
[Share]: https://thoughtbot.com/blog/learning-by-helping